


It May Be Quite Simple

by LovelyRita1967



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern Witchers (The Witcher), Crush at First Sight, Flirting, Fluff, Kaer Morons, M/M, Meet-Cute, Pining, Texting, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Wyverns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-21 12:26:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30021747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyRita1967/pseuds/LovelyRita1967
Summary: A collection of my drabbles and tiny ficlets from Tumblr that don't really merit their own post. So far it's mostly Geraskier, but there's some Lambden too. Could definitely expand eventually to include other pairings of Witchers (like my other faves Lambskel and Lethskel). Each chapter is entirely separate from the others, and there is no relation or chronology between them. It's all meet-cutes, crushes, pining, and fluff.
Relationships: Aiden/Lambert (The Witcher), Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 20
Kudos: 59





	1. The Hot Gardener

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geraskier Modern AU meet cute - Geralt is the hot gardener, Jaskier is the perv spying on him from the window and texting Triss.

_Jaskier:_ TRISSSSSSS OMFG YOU HAVE TO SEE HOW HOT MY NEW GARDENER IS MY BRAIN IS MELTING

_Triss:_ Okay you need to calm down

_Jaskier:_ FUUUUUUCK HE’S BEAUTIFUL IT HURTS 😭😭😭

Jaskier: I WILL NOT CALM DOWN

_Triss:_ Pic then

_Jaskier:_ I cannot take a pic of him

_Triss:_ Then I don’t believe you

_Jaskier:_ FINE. One minute 

_Jaskier:_ [Slightly off center photo through the window - Geralt is tall and broad, shirtless, sculpted. He’s wearing jeans and is bent over, reaching into the shrubs. A hint of his face is visible, with a straight nose and strong jaw. His hair is white and is piled on top of his head. He is sweaty and a little dirty.]

_Triss:_ Holy fuck 

_Jaskier:_ I told you 

_Jaskier:_ Triss what do I do

_Triss:_ Watch him

_Jaskier:_ I HAVE BEEN. I can’t just stare at him through the window all day 

_Triss:_ Yeah you can

_Jaskier:_ No I mean… what should I say to him? 

_Triss:_ Ask if he wants some water?

_Jaskier:_ YOU’RE BRILLIANT

> **Jaskier:** It looks hot out there. Do you need some water or anything?

> **Geralt:** Yes, thank you. 

_Jaskier:_ omg he said yes to water

_Triss:_ Let me know how it goes!!

> **Jaskier:** I’m back. Fuck he’s so hot I want to cry. And then have him lick all my tears off 😏

_Jaskier:_ NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO FUUUUUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK I JUST TEXTED HIM INSTEAD OF YOU I SAID HE WAS HOT AND THAT I WANTED HIM TO LICK ME FUUUUUUUCK 

_Triss:_ Oh shit 

_Triss:_ What did he say??????

_Jaskier:_ NOTHING YET 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

> **Geralt:** ...

_Jaskier:_ He’s not replying. What do I do what do I do what do i doooooo

> **Jaskier:** I’m so sorry, that was meant for someone else. 

> **Geralt:** I figured. 

> **Jaskier** : I’m really sorry. 

> **Geralt:** Don’t be sorry. And don’t cry.

_Jaskier:_ I think… I think he’s flirting. 

_Triss:_ 😈 Get it, Jask. 

> **Jaskier:** Too late. Tears everywhere.

> **Geralt:** …

> **Geralt** : …

> **Geralt:** 👅


	2. Wrong Number

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geraskier Modern AU - Inspired by a wrong number text I got

> I’ve been thinking about you all night. 

_Geralt:_ Who is this?

> You know who this is. 

_Geralt:_ I really don’t. 

> I want to feel your fingertips trailing down my spine... You have such beautiful fingers. 

_Geralt:_ You’ve got the wrong number. 

> And your hands are so strong.

_Geralt:_ Tell me who you are or I’m not responding anymore. 

> I’ll give you a hint… I saw you at the university today. I was watching you while you worked.

_Geralt:_ This is creepy as shit. 

> I’ll give you another hint. 

> [Picture of six-pack abs and a dusting of dark hair leading down to the waistband of grey “Oxenfurt” sweats]

_Geralt:_ How did you get my number? 

> My sources are confidential. 

_Geralt:_ That’s fucked up. 

> Don’t be angry, beautiful. I just can’t stop thinking about you. 

_Geralt:_ There’s no way anyone would know my number unless they went into my file in HR. 

> Wait, what? 

_Geralt:_ Who is this?

> Is this not Valdo?

_Geralt:_ No.

> Oh shit. I am so sorry. Wrong number. 

_Geralt:_ Tell me who this is. 

> My name is Jaskier. I was just messing with this talentless wastrel from school who panders to the taste of the masses and thinks he’s hot shit. I guess I got the number wrong. 

> This is confusing though - you were at Oxenfurt today?

_Geralt:_ Yeah, doing electrical work. 

> Holy shit. Do you have long white hair? 

_Geralt:_ Yes… how did you know that?

> I actually did see you today. You were in the music building. Fuck. You do have strong hands. 

> Sorry. This is awkward. 

_Geralt:_ Was that picture really you?

> Yes. 

> Do you want another? 

Geralt: … 

Geralt: ...

Geralt: Yes


	3. That's a Wyvern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geraskier Modern Witcher AU - It's easier to get help from a witcher when you can just text them

_Jaskier:_ You need to come over right now.

_Geralt:_ ...

_Jaskier:_ Geralt! This is serious!

_Geralt:_...

_Jaskier:_ I know you are reading these, I can see the 3 dots.

_Jaskier:_ I need your help.

_Geralt:_ What did you do

_Jaskier:_ How dare! I didn’t do anything!

_Jaskier:_ I didn’t want to alarm you, but.... there’s a dragon in my backyard.

_Geralt:_ No there isn’t

_Jaskier:_ YES THERE IS! I’M LOOKING AT IT RIGHT NOW!

_Jaskier:_ Wings, tail, claws...

_Geralt:_ It can’t be. Send a pic

_Jaskier_ : [pic]

_Geralt:_ That’s a wyvern

_Jaskier:_...

_Jaskier:_ OKAY GERALT THERE IS A WYVERN IN MY BACKYARD

_Geralt:_ On my way. Just stay inside. And away from windows

_Jaskier:_ It’s trying to eat my patio umbrella

_Geralt:_ Get away from the windows

_Jaskier:_ Do you think it’s hungry? What could I feed it?

_Geralt_ : Do not feed her anything

_Geralt_ : Jaskier?

_Geralt_ : JASKIER. DO NOT FEED HER ANYTHING

_Geralt_ : Damnit Jaskier, if I get there and you’re dead....

_Jaskier_ : Doesn’t feel so good to be ignored does it?

_Geralt:_ Fuck’s sake

_Jaskier_ : Are you texting while driving? That’s really dangerous, Geralt.

_Geralt_ : You want me to come kill a wyvern but you’re worried about me texting while driving?

_Jaskier_ : Well if you die in a fiery crash on the way who’s going to save me?

_Geralt_ : Eskel would probably come

_Geralt_ : I don’t know about Lambert

_Jaskier_ : I don’t want you to die in a fiery crash!

_Geralt_ : It’s fine, witcher senses. I won’t crash.

_Geralt_ : I’ll be there in 5 minutes

_Jaskier_ : Shit Geralt, it’s looking at me through the window.

_Geralt_ : Avoid eye contact

_Jaskier_ : What will it do if I look at it?

_Geralt_ : She. She’s a female.

_Jaskier_ : Excuse me. Will SHE try to eat me if I look at HER?

_Geralt_ : She might try to get in

_Jaskier_ : WHAT WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THAT

_Geralt_ : She probably won’t. But in case she does, maybe go hide in your bedroom? Can you push all your furniture in front of your door?

_Jaskier_ : Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME

_Geralt_ : It’s fine

_Jaskier_ : Geralt, in case she gets in, there’s something you should know.

_Geralt_ : I’m here. Don’t tell me.

_Jaskier_ : You’re here? Oh I see you.

_Jaskier_ : Wow nice move. That was.... nice.

_Jaskier_ : Is that new armour?

_Jaskier_ : Wait you’re leaving?

_Geralt_ : She’s dead

_Jaskier_ : What do I do with a giant wyvern carcass?

_Geralt_ : The city will be round soon to pick up. I sent them a notice. 

_Jaskier_ : Geralt, wait! Are you sure you don’t want to come in for dinner? A drink?

_Geralt_ : ...

_Geralt_ : Well okay. One drink.


	4. Lucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geraskier Modern AU meet cute - we all know the pain of icebreakers, right?

Geralt closed his eyes and groaned inwardly as his table emptied. _Icebreaker._ Of course. He fucking hated icebreakers. Why did every conference he went to these days insist he _talk_ to his fellow attendees before they got to the interesting part?

With a deep sigh he cracked his eyes open and looked around, knowing that he would once again be forced to pair up with another person who had shown up without friends or even casual acquaintances to latch onto. But before he could take stock of the people milling around him, a lanky, brown-haired man crashed into the chair next to him. 

“Please go with me!” he whispered furiously, learning forward to grab Geralt’s hand and shake it vigorously. His hand was warm and firm, with long, elegant fingers. “I’m Jaskier,” the man continued loudly, blinking vibrant blue eyes at him. “And you are?” 

Geralt stared blankly at the hopeful smile on Jaskier’s face. Then he noticed a tall, older man with a receding hairline, puffy beard, and sour expression hovering behind Jaskier. 

Jaskier was still shaking his hand, waiting for him to say something. _Anything._

“Uh...Geralt,” he finally managed. Those eyes were _so blue._

Jaskier’s face shone with the most dazzling smile Geralt had ever seen. “A pleasure to meet you, Geralt.” 

His name fell from those lips like a poem.

“So,” Jaskier continued, finally withdrawing his hand. “I believe we are supposed to share the worst job we’ve ever had.” He glanced over his shoulder furtively and visibly relaxed when he saw the bearded man disappearing through the crowd. Geralt expected Jaskier to make his excuses and disappear as well, but instead he turned back and smiled again. “That’s an easy one for me, but would you like to go first?” 

“Um, no,” Geralt replied, flustered. “You go.” 

“Well…” Jaskier said, then paused dramatically as he poured himself a glass of water from the jug in the middle of the table. “I am a musician, you see, so I may have spent a summer dressed as a clown performing at birthday parties for tiny, evil humans.” 

Geralt found himself chuckling, which, as a rule, he did not do. “Cute.” 

“No, it really wasn’t. Picture this: it’s 38 degrees out, approaching 104 under my bright orange clown wig, my makeup is melting down my neck, and I’m forced to sing ‘Baby Shark’ seventeen times while the demons shriek, and the spoiled birthday boy spills lemonade on my guitar and demands I get him some more.” 

Geralt rumbled a low laugh again. “You win.” 

“Oh?” Jaskier arched an eyebrow with a wicked smile. “You concede the title that easily?” 

Geralt’s heart was beating unusually quickly. He nodded, his mouth too dry to speak. He reached for his glass and took a mouthful. 

Jaskier’s tongue darted out and moistened his lips. “Come now, Geralt. You must at least have a contender.” 

“Um, I…” _Goddamn it, am I blushing?_ “One time in university I was totally broke and I… I did some modelling…” _Yup, blushing._

Jaskier’s eyes swept up and down Geralt's figure. His lips quirked. “I can believe that.” He cleared his throat and shifted, picking up his water glass. “Was modelling really so awful?” He took a sip.

“Well… it was nude.” 

Jaskier choked on his water, spraying some onto Geralt’s pants. He coughed and sputtered, putting his glass down and reaching for a napkin. 

“Oh my gods, I am so sorry…” Jaskier rasped, blotting at Geralt’s pants with a tiny, useless cocktail napkin. 

“It’s okay…” Geralt watched Jaskier’s hands on his thighs. “I’m not that wet.” 

Jaskier coughed again, no doubt some residual water in his windpipe. “Nude, you say?” he said in a strangled voice, giving up on the blotting. 

“For an art class… sketching… the human form…” Geralt realized he was not speaking in complete sentences. “Wasn’t so bad, just… awkward… and cold… and hard not to move… I just did it one time.” 

“Mmm. No doubt a day forever etched in the memories of those fortunate students.” 

Geralt hadn’t blushed this much in his entire life, but he was saved from having to reply by the emcee asking people to return to their seats. “Well…” he looked at Jaskier, wondering why there was an ache of disappointment in his chest. 

“Yes. I’d better go.” Jaskier nodded and stood. “Thanks for rescuing me. That guy wasn’t taking no for an answer at the hotel bar last night. And… sorry about your pants.” 

Geralt nodded back. “No problem. For both.” He rubbed at a damp patch on his thigh.

Jaskier smiled softly. “See you ‘round, Geralt.” 

Geralt watched him go with a pang. _It’s a three-day conference,_ he consoled himself. It was massive, but… he might see Jaskier again, if he was lucky. 

Jaskier was sitting somewhere far behind him in the huge hall, so when the opening keynote began, Geralt couldn’t sneak any glances his way. It was with a jolt when he stood up at the lunch break and Jaskier appeared next to him. 

His hands fiddled with the strap of his laptop bag. “Can I buy you lunch?” Jaskier gave him a shy, hopeful smile.

Geralt felt his heart flutter. “It’s included.” 

“Well, then, aren’t I lucky?”

“No,” Geralt tilted his head. “I am.” 


	5. Kaer Morons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lambden and Geraskier - Eskel has the braincell

_Lambert:_ *Slams his mug down on the table and slumps into his chair, pouting*

_Eskel:_ *Rolls his eyes at Geralt but asks nicely* What’s on your mind, pup? 

_Lambert:_ Aiden said he was cold last night and that he wished he had someone to keep him warm. 

_Geralt:_ ... And? 

_Lambert:_ And nothing! I’m just upset that... our guest isn’t happy.

_Eskel:_ *Sighs* Lambert, do you think maybe Aiden was asking YOU to keep him warm? 

_Lambert:_ *Confused* No? I just… got him another blanket. 

_Geralt:_ And you delivered it to him in his room?

_Lambert:_ Yes. 

_Eskel:_ Was he in bed? 

_Lambert:_ Yeah. 

_Geralt:_ Was he naked? 

_Lambert:_ I don’t know, he was under the blankets, but it looked like… maybe, yeah. 

_Eskel:_ *Bigger sigh* Lambert, I’m pretty sure Aiden wants _you_ to warm him up. 

_Lambert:_ *Blinks in idiot* Fuck. *Runs out of the room*

_Geralt:_ *Sips his drink* He’s such a moron.

_Eskel:_ *Looks at Geralt* Where’s Jaskier right now? 

_Geralt:_ *Blinks in bigger idiot* I don’t know, alone in his room, I guess.

_Eskel:_ *Smacks him upside the head* YOU are the moron. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading these silly things! Feel free to leave me a prompt here or on Tumblr for more. 
> 
> [Subscribe to me](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyRita1967/pseuds/LovelyRita1967) if you like (I mostly write Geraskier, plus some rarepairs), or come say hi on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/LovelyRita1967) (18+) and [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lovelyrita1967). I love interacting and I follow back!


End file.
